While you should have an adult look over your essay, don't let that adult make changes with which you are uncomfortable. Sometimes the adults that want to help end up adding too much wording that they think sounds better. In addition, don't stress yourself out over a super-formal introduction and conclusion. Many of my students ask for a list of quotes they can use to begin their scholarship essays, and while this is an age-old strategy appropriate for other essay forms, starting with a quote can come across as staged and pretentious in the scholarship essay. Simply address the prompt you are given and be yourself.
Proofreading is an important part of writing a scholarship essay, especially if you're applying for a foreign program. Run a spell check of your text and fix any error you might find. It is totally unprofessional to have grammatical and punctuation mistakes in a piece of work of this level. Make sure to always use a word thesaurus that you master, otherwise you'll get lost in terms and phrases that don’t fit good together. You’ll want your paragraphs to combine one with another like puzzle pieces. So make your finishing touches, paying extra attention to details.